MA Documentary Film graduate Mariana Lima Mateus has recently won the Audience Award at the Olhares do Mediterrâneo – Women’s Film Festival withThe Colours of Grief.
The documentary, which also won Best Documentary Film Award at the Directed by Women Turkey Film Festival, was Mariana's graduation film at London College of Communication (LCC).
The Colours of Grief follows Mariana’s grandmother as she returns to her hometown to see that time has not been kind to it. In the wake of her husband (Mariana’s grandfather)’s death, the film is a meditation on grief and the passage of time, while offering hope for what’s yet to come.
The Olhares do Mediterrâneo (which roughly translates to ‘Views of the Mediterranean’) Women’s Film Festival is an international film festival, comprised entirely of female directors from the region. An offshoot of the Olhares do Mediterrâneo Cultural Association, this year was the 11th edition of the festival, taking place from 31 October – 7 November.
To learn more about the film, we spoke to Mariana about creating The Colours of Grief. She talked to us about her philosophy, her influences and what she’s learned from producing, shooting and editing her own film.
I feel like there is always so much going on in my brain, so it’s hard to grasp all these ideas that constantly float in my mind. Even when I do, it’s sometimes tricky to make sense of them. I always try and immerse myself in art, going to exhibitions and movies. The hours spent watching films (both good and bad) always open a door of creativity for me that I love to walk into. I’m also surrounded by such creative individuals; my friends, my family, and my mentors all inspire me daily.
I feel myself drawn to female and queer narratives; their struggles and everyday battles, the female resistance. I want to amplify their voices with collaborative works; my subjects must be part of the production as well, I’m telling their stories after all. I hope my documentaries can someday inspire change and be an invitation to ask ourselves: how can we do better?
This love of mine goes way back. From a young age, I remember getting so invested in the stories I was watching, I would be glued to the screen whenever a film was on television. My mum played an important role; I will never forget when she gifted me a copy of Wes Anderson’s Moonrise Kingdom for Christmas 2012.
I was a bit confused at first, but his cinematography really inspired me and still does to this day. My love for documentaries came a bit later. I believe my passion for this genre sprung in 2015, when I dove deep into the plant-based lifestyle and was trying to learn as much as possible. Documentaries were a great source of knowledge and they presented me with a new way of conscious living. That’s the thing I love most about documentaries; they spark curiosity and they can lead to change.
It was an easy choice. I wanted to get the best education possible, and started to look online into documentary-based Master’s degrees when I came across UAL, where some of my friends from Portugal were already studying.
I remember attending an online open day during the pandemic: from that moment on, I knew I wanted to move to London and study there. The practical and theoretical side of MA Documentary Film, the tutors who work in the field (and are passionate about it), plus knowing I could live in a city with so many opportunities drew me to LCC.
I have to thank my family for making this possible; thank you to my grandparents for all the hard work and compromising so much, so that me and my sister could pursue the academic path we wanted. They always wanted for us to follow our dreams; thanks to them, I’m living mine right now.
The afternoons watching movies at our cinema classroom; the laughs, the tears, the huge amount of snacks and glasses of (dubious) wine. That’s where I developed great relationships with my friends and the filmmakers who created the films my tutors presented to us.
In my film, we follow my grandmother, Noemí, back to her hometown Escarigo, a Portuguese village bordering Spain. When she left in the 1960s, it was filled with life, people and dreams, but now is sadly more and more depopulated as time goes by.
In the documentary, she visits some of the inhabitants of Escarigo as she tries to recall memories from her youth and the happy times she had while she was there. This film is a love letter from her, not only to the village that saw her grow and leave, but to my grandfather, whom she mourns every day.
It is filled with grief and its different variants; she grieves the life she had and the loved ones she lost. On the other hand, there’s also room for joy; she recalls parts of her life she thought she had lost and there’s hope of seeing a vibrant Escarigo again.
I went to Escarigo after my grandfather’s death on a very short trip to spread his ashes next to his family’s graves. The last time I had been there, I was a child and there was still some life, even though it didn’t compare to the one my grandparents described. But when we arrived with my grandfather’s ashes, we were greeted with silence.
It was heartbreaking – immediately I knew I wanted to explore this abandonment and the depopulation of the rural villages of Portugal. Years later, when I was at LCC, I finally had the chance to bring this story to life. It was a tough yet enjoyable process; we went back to Escarigo during the summer of 2023 and I was able to take my grandma’s steps; picturing her past along the way.
This movie was completely self-produced, shot and edited by me. It was a lot of work, but I think it’s what’s made it so personal. We were in Escarigo for 2 weeks; I talked to a lot of the inhabitants, interviewing some of them. Sadly, I couldn’t keep all the testimonies in the film, but they were what allowed me to get a good understanding of life in the village.
I tried to socialise and get familiar with the day-to-day life of the people of Escarigo; I would watch the rehearsals of the choir, I went to the farms, to the houses of those I interviewed. Everyone was so welcoming and I truly felt like I was home. I soon realised they all shared a sense of grief for the life they previously had in the village.
This was a very emotional process for me; while I was documenting the grief of these people, I was also processing the loss of my grandfather. It wasn’t an easy task having to work while uncovering so much of my sadness. I saw myself trying to distance my feelings from the narrative, but the questions I posed were inevitably shaped by my upbringings, plus the fact that I’m the granddaughter of the main contributor.
I realised there is no problem with that: that is the essence of the movie, and the intimacy with the contributors was what made the testimonials so sincere.
I already knew the festival from the previous editions and I knew I wanted to apply there with my film. I applied to a number of festivals dedicated to female cinematography – Olhares do Mediterrâneo was one of them. I was so excited when I was selected for this year’s edition: it means so much to have my film showcased next to such great female-led productions.
I wasn’t expecting to win! I was super shocked when they called my name, but I couldn’t be happier, especially because it was the first time my grandmother saw the film on the big screen. It was a very emotional day for my family and this award made it even more special. It’s such a blessing that audiences can relate and connect to my film and my grandmother’s story. I hope this award gets my film to even more screens so even more people can watch Noemí on her adventure back to her hometown.
Being able to make this film independently allowed me to learn so much about every part of the documentary process. You get a new sense of problem solving that you don’t have when you have a crew; once you hit the editing room, you realise all the different mistakes you made when shooting in a way you wouldn’t understand if you weren’t editing.
So now every time I’m on a shoot, I make sure I’m prepared; making sure I get all the B-roll I need, making sure I ask the right questions and get all the responses on camera. Of course, mistakes happen; we have to work with the material we have, but I became more aware of what is needed to make a good documentary.
I just hope to make meaningful documentaries that shine a light on important topics. I want to use my platform and my storytelling abilities to amplify the stories of those who find it hard to be heard. If my films contribute – even if it’s just a little – to tackle injustices, I will feel like my work is being done.
Don’t be afraid to try, to experiment, to make yourself uncomfortable. It’s not always going to be easy but try to enjoy the ride. If you are thinking of applying, it’s because you are somewhat in a position of privilege, so try and use it for the good. Never forget that you might be producing a film, but your contributors make the story, not you. Listen to them, but always seek the truth.
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